Posted in Notes: motivation & goals

Why are we making our lives difficult?

I have been thinking a lot lately about why so many people are unsatisfied with their lives. Why do we make our lives difficult, when in reality it is so easy? Why do we keep worrying about unimportant stuff?

First of all, high expectations very often bring us big disappointments and therefore affect our emotional state. The desire to develop yourself and your life conditions is natural and good, but sometimes we lose touch with the reality, especially because of  the social media. We see amazing pictures of people and places, and we think: “My life sucks, because I am not like them”. However, we do not know the background story behind those pictures, and truth is, it is not always that “beautiful”. Because of the affect of the social media, we stopped appreciating what we have, and we started to live in the yet-to-come future, where we believe we can achieve that. Being delusional is what ruins our enjoyment from the things we have, and just focusing us on the things we could have or maybe will have, which in really we might never have, nobody knows. Healthy development and growth is amazing, but very often we drown in our illusions.

Secondly, our social circle has crucial affect on our level of satisfaction with our lives. How so? Well we often compare ourselves with people we know, and if our friend gets promotion and we don’t, we start thinking and comparing ourselves to him/her, whereas the only person we should compare ourselves is us.

Thirdly, we create problems where they just don’t exist. If you have loved ones around you, food and roof above your head- you have all the basic stuff you need. So when your problem is that you cannot buy a second car, or you cannot afford jeans from some expensive brand- you have no problem!

Finally, we are trying to be so independent, that in the end of the day, we end up being lonely. And surely, the social media has a huge impact on this, we start transitioning into society where social contact is decreased to the minimum. While it has many benefits, and we can call and send documents throughout the world within seconds, it creates a rift in face-to-face communication.

When we start enjoying every moment of our lives and appreciating all the things we have, instead of being disappointed about the ones we don’t, we will find true feeling of happiness.

P.S. As my mum says: “If it is a problem, which you can solve, why worry about it? If it is a problem you cannot solve, why worry about it?”

Cheers.

May the force be with you!

 

 

 

Posted in Notes: motivation & goals

3 reasons why you are not reaching your goals and what to do about them.

Do you get a feeling like you are working very hard, but your dream is still so far away? Why is this happening? There are multiple reasons for that, and if you are reading this, you are looking for an answer how to change this situation.


1. You are wasting your time on side activities, which have nothing to do with your final goal.

What to do? Do the following exercise for 1 week: after each day, before you go to sleep, write what you have done today, preferably with a time frame for each activity. When you will have 7 days filled up, look at every day and check, what are the “automated” activities, which you do as a habit, but you don’t really have to do them? Or at least not every day? Maybe you are spending too much time on a computer or phone? This exercise will help you to see the current state of your life, and it will be the first step to changes.


2. You are not scheduling.

What to do? Going with a flow is good sometimes, but if you are determined you need to make some kind of a schedule for a day, or a week, it will help you keep the time frames for your activities and you will have sometime freed up if you follow the schedule.


3. Your goal is unrealistic.

What to do? Sit down and think: “are my expectations too high?”. Because in very many cases they are! We can achieve many things we want, but unfortunately we cannot all be successful movie stars or billionaires. So do not be harsh to yourself and be realistic.


Cheers.

Posted in Notes: motivation & goals

How to motivate yourself?

I believe it comes from a human nature as we are quite lazy creatures. Very often it feels like you do not know where you are heading and how to force yourself to “leave a couch” and start moving towards your goals. So how to find motivation?

First of all, start doing what you actually like and enjoy! There is no better motivation than loving what you do.

Secondly, just stop for a moment and think: what is your goal? what do you want to achieve? But just thinking of something you want or wish is far not enough. When you decide what is it you want, you will need to make a plan; what do you need to do in order to achieve it? That can include 2 steps, or it can include much more than that, write it down, and when you do, you will clearly see your action plan!

Example: goal- study in Germany

Action plan:

  • Choose university (ies) and degree program(es)
  • Improve language skills: go to courses/start online studies/ learn by yourself
  • Earn some money in order to support your living in a new country
  • Check the job situation in Germany, what is unemployment rate?


Thirdly, after you know your action plan – go for it! From that moment, when you do something, you should ask yourself: ” does this help me to achieve my goal or am I wasting my time?“.

Finally, think of people around you, do they motivate you? do they push you to develop yourself and improve your skills? If not, please try to expand your network to people, who will keep pushing you forward and give you some challenge, so you can go an extra mile. I do not mean to stop communication with your good friends, but I do think that we need to get out from our comfort zone in order to achieve something!
Always remember, that you can achieve anything if you put an effort to it! And stay realistic, changes do not happen overnight, but small steps will push you towards your dream!


Cheers,

Daria